


No Deeper Meaning

by ALargeBear



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALargeBear/pseuds/ALargeBear
Summary: Arisa was never very good with her feelings. Love wasn’t any different.





	No Deeper Meaning

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” Arisa said, face buried in her hands and sitting on a familiar couch in her basement.   
  
Saya sat close with a hand on Arisa’s shoulder. “What happened this time?”  
  
“It wasn’t anything specific,” Arisa said, fighting the urge to pull her shoulder away. She wasn’t some loner anymore, she could rely on Saya for comfort. “It’s so hard to be around Kasumi sometimes.”  
  
“Is it because of how touchy-feely she is with you?” Saya offered a hint of a smile that Arisa couldn’t see.  
  
“Not just me.” Arisa’s face shot up, gnawing on her bottom lip with a fierce blush. “It’s that she gets like that with everyone else, too. I don’t know what any of it means.”  
  
It was a conversation that had happened before, and Arisa learned to open up. The first few times it was tough. A prying and knowing Saya that pushed just hard enough to get her open up about feelings that even she hadn’t been able to understand at the time. Even now she wasn’t sure, even if those feelings had come to have a name. That was months ago, and not so long after Saya had joined. A time in which Arisa had resigned herself to reigning in this scary and wonderful emotion all on her own.  
  
Some of the walls were still there, and Arisa knew that some of them might never be able to be knocked down. At least, not by someone like Sayaa. A dear friend who brought with her comfort that Arisa never felt with anyone outside of her grandmother. A big sister style charm that was hard to replicate. A warm, inviting friend who Arisa could find the trust in to tell her deepest secret.  
  
“You know Kasumi doesn't mean anything by it, right?” Saya slid her hand off Arisa’s shoulder and looked her eye to eye. “That’s just how that girl is.”  
  
“That’s the whole problem here,” Arisa said, muttered through embarrassment.   
  
Saya didn’t give an audible answer. Just a quirked eyebrow and tilt of the head.  
  
A long sigh as Arisa leaned back into the couch. “She’s always hugging me, and holding my hand, and trying to touch me. It makes me feel like maybe there’s a little itty-bitty chance that she feels the same way every time she does it.”  
  
Saya followed suit, leaning back shoulder to shoulder with Arisa. “But?”  
  
“But.” Arisa looked away. “I see her do it with everyone else in the band, and it’s just like you said, that’s how Kasumi is. Hugging and touching everyone, not just me. It doesn't mean anything special to her when she does that stuff to me.”  
  
“Ah, I get it,” Saya said. “Kasumi gets your hopes up when she’s, well, being Kasumi. But it makes you jealous when she does it with other people.”  
  
“It doesn't make jealous.” Arisa snapped her head back with a frown. “Mostly.”  
  
“Than what is it?”  
  
“I can’t even explain it myself.” Arsa sighed in frustration and rolled her head back. How was she expected to have such a strong understanding of an emotion she’d only figured out was love when their talks started. “I just wish that when Kasumi hugged me, it meant the same thing to her that it does to me. And if it didn’t mean anything that she’d just tell me so I can forget about this stupid crush.”  
  
There was quiet as Arisa let Saya process. Her heart beat much to fast as the anxiety of being open still held strong. She fiddled with the edge of her skirt as the silence drew on, and with it the want to leave growing.   
  
“Have you tried telling her that?” Saya asked, voice gentle and smile inviting.   
  
Arisa rolled her eyes. “What do you think?”  
  
Saya chuckled. “I think you should.”  
  
“Of course you do.” Arisa hated the line of questioning. Being confronted by the plain stated solution to the problem was scary, and possible rejection it set up even more.  
  
“Kasumi really really likes you.”  
  
Arisa’s ear twitched. Excitement tried to rise in her heart, but she bit it down. “Kasumi really really likes everyone.”  
  
“That’s true, too.” Saya found her hand back onto Arisa’s shaking shoulder. “But with you, it’s different. It always has been.”  
  
“And what the heck is that supposed to mean?” The excitement rose, and Arisa had a harder time keeping it down, though overshadowed by the fear of it all.   
  
“The way she talks about you, and how she acts around you.” Saya gave Arisa’s shoulder a squeeze. “It’s different, and in a good way. I’m not the only one who sees it either. You can ask Rimi or Tae and they’ll tell you the same thing. I don’t know if Kasumi feels the same way about you, but she does think you’re special.”  
  
Hope was found in the gentle pressure on Arisa’s shoulder. A will to let Kasumi know that she didn’t know could be found started to take shape. “You’re sure about that?”  
  
“Positive.” Saya’s hand slid from Arisa’s shoulder down to the back.   
  
“So if I.” Arisa paused, taking a deep breath before starting. “If I did tell her. You think there’s a chance she’d feel the same way?”  
  
“There’s only one way to find out.”  
  
“But what if she doesn't?”  
  
“Than you’ll still be friends, and I’ll be right here for you.”  
  
“You better be.”  
  
Arisa’s heart clenched, but Saya’s soft chuckle released enough of the pressure. The resolve was there now, found in the encouragement of a dear friend and an exciting first love.   
  
BREAK  
  
It was a walk home like countless others since the school year began. Arisa fighting back a deep blush and embarrassment as Kasumi clung to her. She wouldn’t complain, of course, the warm body was nice in the winter, and affection from love was always a treat. This walk only different because of the stop being made at an all to familiar park.   
  
Resolve that had been found a day ago in her basement was beginning to crumble as they came to a stop and Kasumi still held her close. It didn’t mean anything deeper than Kasumi’s friendship was what Arisa would always repeat. Something about that mantra rang hollow when on the verge of making a long dreaded confession.  
  
“Why did you wanna stop here today?” Kasumi asked arm linked around Arisa’s. “Not that I mind because now I get to spend more time with you.  
  
She couldn’t get her hopes up to high. It was Kasumi. It didn’t mean anything.   
  
“Would you let go of me?” Arisa shrugged off Kasumi’s arm, eliciting a whine as the response. “We came here because I needed to tell you something.”  
  
“Ohh, Arisa has something important to tell me.” Kasumi kept as close as she could, face to face with Arisa.  
  
Arisa stared at her own feet. Kasumi much too bright, like a star that couldn’t be looked at directly. Her throat constricted, making it impossible to say anything. She shifted her weight back and forth, foot to foot in an attempt to quell the pain in her stomach. It didn’t help, and as she waited, it didn’t get any easier.  
  
Kasumi only smiled wide with bright eyes. She bounced from one foot to another in anticipation. Hoping to coax out whatever it was Arisa had to say.  
  
A deep breath and Arisa found her voice, but not the ability to look up from the ground or fight off her stutter. “Do you know what it means to love someone, Kasumi?”   
  
An idiotic start and Arisa internally berated herself for it. Knowing the answer before it even came from Kasumi’s mouth.  
  
“Of course I do.” Kasumi backed off, leaning her head down in a failed attempt to look into Arisa’s eyes. “I love my parents, my sister, everyone in Popipa, and of course you too, Arisa.”  
  
More quiet that Arisa couldn’t focus in. Giving up seemed the easiest option to avoid further embarrassment and failure that she saw as inevitable. Kasumi was simple, she wore her heart proudly on her sleeve, there wasn’t any deeper meaning to anything. Love like what Arisa felt wasn’t something Kasumi would even understand, but she came too far. Something had to be done about the crush, and things could go back to normal.  
  
“I know you do.” Arisa was quiet, prompting Kasumi to lean in closer. “But I don’t mean that kind of love, Kasumi.”  
  
Kasumi tapped her chin and hummed, allowing a moment of silence to pass before starting again. “Oh, you mean like in romance manga and movies?”  
  
Arisa looked up with wide eyes, slowly nodding. An unexpected answer taking her off-guard, and keeping her from talking.   
  
Neither continued, wind blowing between them as a stalemate was reached. Arisa tried to read anything from Kasumi’s face which was more contemplative than she’d ever known possible. Something was wrong, and she’d come so far. Turning back wasn’t an option. They were on the same page, and an opportunity as good may never come up again. Arisa would fight through the butterflies and terror of it all.  
  
“What would you think?” Arisa looked off to the side, not daring check Kasumi’s way. “If I felt like that toward you. I love you like in those dumb romance manga and movies.”  
  
Arisa was too gripped by anxiety to react to the two hands on her cheek that forced her vision forward. All she saw through vision clouded by unshed tears was Kasumi’s closed eyes as the distance between them became nothing.   
  
It was so fast, Arisa wondered if it happened at all, but the softness was new but unmistakable. Kasumi’s lips had been on hers, and as they parted, Arisa licked her lips to confirm. Sweet in a way that she wanted back. Hope was near able to overcome the anxiety, a love that was nothing but futile now on the verge of becoming something real.  
  
But years old habits were hard to forget.  
  
Arisa pushed her arms forward, creating distance between her and Kasumi. She brought a hand to her lips and looked at Kasumi who smiled the same goofy smile she always did.   
  
“Kasumi.” Arisa kept her fingers on her lips and Kasumi at arm's length. Heart on the verge of being fulfilled, or shattered . “I swear to god if that was a joke it wasn’t funny. I’ll never talk to you again if that wasn’t serious.”   
  
Her arm was brushed to the side and she was pulled into a familiar embrace. This with a different feel as the energetic arms were gentle around her waist and lightweight on her shoulder from Kasumi’s head. So inviting and bringing a comfort she thought unobtainable.   
  
“I love Arisa, too.”   
  
The words tickled Arisa’s ear as they were whispered. For the first time, Arisa allowed herself to reciprocate with arms around Kasumi. All doubt was gone because there was never anything deeper to anything Kasumi said, and Arisa knew that.   
  
  



End file.
